Stop getting worse and unhappy by starting to get better and happy



If we lived in a world that wasn’t changed, inspired, and moved by people who wanted to become better and do better things in life, we probably wouldn’t have come this far. We would perhaps adhered to tribal cultures, primitive tools, and limited thinking. But we luckily happen to belong to a progressive evolving species. Now we are more concerned about what the developers at Apple have failed to do with next I-phone. We tend to see ourselves as being better than and have the audacity to challenge the highly experienced thinkers, engineers and developers who invent such ingenious tools for a living. We at times feel the need to educate ourselves better to challenge a Doctors lifesaving diagnosis. Thanks to the internet on every mobile browser, your kids will now challenge every single opinion and advice you give them after you pay their mobile monthly service fee for that phone. If you don’t get better you will be forced to. It isn’t a choice but a necessity for survival now.

We are trapped in a continuous process of progressive evolution. We often experience an extreme urge to do better. We get tired of dwelling in monotony, boredom, failure, and misery and eventually get up and begin tackling one thing after another until we dig ourselves out of our worsening state until we get better. Once we hit bottom we just cannot stay there, or go down further, because the only way from that place is up.

Look within, for within is the wellspring of virtue, which will not cease flowing, if you cease not from digging.- Marcus Aurelius

But the urge to do better and get better is only experienced when two things happen:

  • Tired of failure:


We get tired of being worse and in a miserable state. And this usually happens when we have exhausted all the sympathy, self pity, respect, dignity and acceptance we could garner by being the person we have become. Or, we get inspired by the world passing by and realizing that everyone around us have moved ahead, learned from their mistakes, developed themselves to become better and progressed to live a happier life.

  • Taking the responsibility:


The realization dawns upon us that only we can help ourselves to get better. Life might give us a push, a helping hand, opportunities, luck and time, but taking advantage of these things and getting better is our responsibility. It is by our thinking, behavior, actions, self-motivation, and efforts that we can make our way to success. And these are the only qualities we share with other great and successful people; the ability to take on the responsibility to become better.

There comes a morning in life when you wake up a new person; that is to say, you wake up the same person but you realize it’s your own fault. ~Robert Brault

As we grow older and learn from our experiences and life we evolve into better beings. Our view points and wisdom over the years have changed for the better mostly. What was right at one given time in life seems to be wrong and vice versa. As we learn more from life experience, we gravitate towards things that are more meaningful, purposeful living, better understanding, and most importantly, realizing our influences over others and the sense of responsibility towards their welfare. This pretty much dictates our need to become better as a person. As the people we have met and our experience affect us, we realize that our actions and the experience we create for our loved ones in life affect them. And for some, the purpose of life stems from such conscience living.

Become addicted to constant and never ending self improvement. ~ Anthony J. D’Angelo

Change is good, and the need for positive self-development is absolutely necessary for our survival and well-being. Those who stifle their growth and advancement with stubborn denial to become becoming better will one day be challenged to change, evolve and advance or be left behind facing very unpleasant consequences. People are continuously moving ahead. Old paradigms are challenged, old fears have changed to aggression, silence has found a voice and oppressed compliance has changed into intelligent and courageous defiance. The intelligent people today question age-old senseless rituals, old systems, stagnant status, cultural norms etc. Such are the many signs of the struggle of progressive evolution of people. And you are right in the middle of it. If you do not move, you will remain where you are and the world will move ahead.

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty.  ~Henry Ford

What are the things we can do daily to change for the better? :

  1. Reflect a little on our speech and make small changes by using more positive words, kinder expressions and honesty.
  2. Think how you treat your loved ones. Are you inspiring or loving in your behavior?
  3. What you give is what you get. Do you give positivity, smiles and love to the world you share?
  4. When did you last give your parents or a spouse a day off chores?
  5. Complement someone for doing something you liked.
  6. Opt for more meaningful things in life than materialistic instant gratification which do not last.
  7. Opt for a salad today for a change, eat lesser calories today, chew longer and drink plenty of water.
  8. Forgive someone and let the hatred go. Give them a call, or write a note just to say “Hi”. You will feel much better.
  9. Stop telling people what to do and how to live their lives. Instead be there for them as a moral and inspirational support. No one needs a critic, but everyone can use a coach.
  10. Take up a greater cause in life that makes you useful.
  11. Put in some extra time and effort to change something for the better, be it at work or home.
  12. Work a bit harder to become successful in what you do.
  13. Do not be stubborn about your opinions, it will eventually be changed. Struve to learn and have a broader perspective of things.
  14. Inspire someone to do and be better.
  15. Always learn, listen to people, and investigate the facts.
  16. If you are guilty of something you did, or doing, stop it and walk up and apologize
  17. Do at least one things towards self-development daily.
  18. Make a serious effort to stop complaining about things and being cynical. Instead, develop solutions and change it for better.
  19. As a good friend reminded me at a crucial point in my life, “Give on trivial likes and let go”. You may like a few things to be done your way. But your loved one may want it to do it their way. There is no point in struggling on to such trivial wants and create unpleasant events in life. Let go. Let them have it their way and you will have many other things in life go your way too.
  20. Apply logic before anger and intelligence before senseless ego.

Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have. ~Margaret Mead

The amusing fact about us is that we do not need life coaches or motivators to tell us how and why we need to become better. We are our own teachers if we can put our stubbornness aside to learn from our experience.

The most useful piece of learning for the uses of life is to unlearn what is untrue. ~Antisthenes