How do you look while you are busy judging others?


Low self esteem is certainly a common problem in many of us. But although we may have a certain level of low self esteem about certain aspects, it doesn’t mean that many of us are not confident or over confident about certain other aspects in our lives. On a macro perspective the issue may be more complex in nature in terms of behavioral science and psychological variances, but at a micro level it often boils down to pretty simple day to day behavioural patterns and habits.

I am better than them, I look better than him or her, I am richer than them, I hold a higher social status, and I am holier than thou are some of the common thoughts many of us often encounter but seldom accept to this fact. And why not? It sure does help makes us feel better about ourselves and gives a boost to our ego and at times validates our efforts and lives.

But while we are soothing our egos internally, how do we truly appear externally to this world? And does this matter or is it necessary for us to give it a little thought?

We often judge ourselves by what we think we are capable of and what we assume to be how others see us as, but in reality the world judges us by what we truly do and how we behave.

We can believe that we are near perfect and choose to adamantly be oblivious to our own realities and faults. We can live a life time in denials and arrogance. But being a social animal that we are, we invariably fall into the discomforting traps that never misses us and leaves our egos bruised. We can pick ourselves up, dust ourselves and get back on our high horse and ride away, but we know that we were seen by others and we secretly carry our bruised egos and embarrassments.

I call my blog Despicable yet Wonderful YOU because this is exactly how we all are. All of us have several errors in us, we are flawed in many ways, but yet each one of us have a lot of good in ourselves and certainly have the potential to correct ourselves and change ourselves for the better. We may be a flawed species but we are still considered to be most intelligent ones. The only thing that stops us from getting better and progressively evolving into better beings is our ego.

The moment we can look past our inflated egos and truly self analyze ourselves by what we have done and are doing, we will often come to a profound realization about our true character and personalities that lies hidden within. And that realization can only spark our conscience to rebuild our dignity and core character into the ones we assume ourselves as being. This moment teaches us several things about ourselves and teaches us the much needed humility. Some are fortunate to be beaten down by life events to lean this lesson, and some are unfortunate to carry on living in a bubble and oblivion being nothing more than a joke in other peoples’ minds secretly. But those who truly indulge in some serious introspection and take necessary steps to change, they eventually align themselves to the true essence of live and begin to build on solid things. They garner a different level of honest respect, love and thus live a much gratifying and purposeful life. Such individuals are easily identifiable by their deeds, accomplishments, understanding of others, accepting others for who they are, patience, humility, and kindness. They also often seem to live a content and peaceful lives.

But those who are enshrouded in their inflated false egos and live in oblivion often seem to live in a perpetual state of confusion, dissatisfaction, identity crisis, and bitterness. They too can easily be identified by their hatred, anger, cynicism, excessively trying to please others, impress others, and a lot of finger pointing and being judgemental of others.

So, what can one do to live a more meaningful and happier life? Well, don’t we all know the answer to this? Yet, we chose never to discomfort ourselves by indulging in some honest introspection in an effort to self analyze and progressively evolve into better beings. Many of us chose rather to put on an act of respectability and pseudo self characterization than truly earn this dignity. And we have mastered the art of deflection by judging others and finger pointing.

It is easy and absolutely without consequences to make callous statements about others and judge them. Pointing fingers on other peoples parenting skills, their relationships, their choices in life, their religious beliefs, their values,  or even being critical of the younger generations. But we forget how we were when we were young, and we absolutely have no idea of what we will do and how we will truly react if we were to have faced the other persons exact life and circumstances. Yet, we seem to self appoint ourselves as experts on other peoples life and often fail to straighten our own. And in the vent of being told by someone, some us also opt to take refuge in self sympathy or hide our choices by blaming our circumstances. But we never seem to extend the same courtesy to others for being who they are. What we truly forget is that we all are shaped by the choices we have made under the circumstances that life has put us through.

While we are busy judging others we often are oblivious to the fact of how ugly our own lives and mistakes makes us look. It is not what we `think’ of ourselves to be, but it is what we do and how we behave that makes us who we truly are.

The greatest gift that you can give someone in life is by being a positive inspiration to them by your action and behaviour. Not your words of wisdom or advice.